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How To Stop Worrying About Others Judgement

anxiety fear judgement saying selfdevelopment stuck thinking unstuck worry Feb 24, 2022

You can listen to this episode and download its mp3 from my podcast for free


Has anyone ever worried about what somebody is thinking or saying about them?

I am guilty. A hundred percent for sure. I mean, even putting these videos out, I took a long time to do it because I thought, oh, what are people going to say? What are they going to think? And the first reason Why I stopped worrying about what other people were thinking is I asked myself why I was doing it in the first place. Why am I putting these videos out here? And it's to help somebody else, even if it helps one person. So by asking myself the why behind the reason, I can focus on that instead of worrying about what other people are thinking.

And the same might apply to you. You might want to start going to the gym and you're worried about what people are going to think about you because you feel overweight and uncomfortable in your body, but why are you going to the gym? So you feel good about yourself. So you get healthy. So you get strong. So you can be more energized and be a nicer person to be around because you feel better after you're doing a workout. I want you to think about the why when you are doing something and you fear somebody else's judgment. Why are you doing it in the first place? And that reason is always greater than the external noise from other people.


The second and most important point is you don't know what they are thinking or saying. I have had this conversation with so many of my clients. "I think he's going to think this." "She would definitely say that." You do not know what they are thinking. You are never, ever going to know what someone's thinking. Even if they tell you, they might not even be telling you the truth. So what is the point of worrying about it? You are never going to know the answer. I think I just need to say that one more time. Just so it sinks in. You are never going to know what someone else is thinking or saying about you. So what is the point in worrying about it? Nine times out of 10, you have made up that scenario. You have made up what you think they are saying, what you think they are thinking, and it's not even true.



So I want you to think about alternatives and this is a great game to play. So for example, I'm really worried about putting this video out because somebody might say it's really bad and why is she doing it? So let me think about all the other things that people could say. "I'm so glad Alice put that video up because it helped me with my issues." "I'm so glad that there's a video out there about this from a woman because we don't hear it enough." There are so many different things that could be said or thought about you as a person. One, you are never going to know what they are. Two, you have made up what they are. Three, there are so many better alternatives than you could think.



If there is something that you are worried about, worried about what someone is thinking, worried about what they're going to be saying. I want you to first write down why you are doing that thing in the first place. Number two, I want you just to simply write down what I believe they are thinking or saying about is completely made up. Number three, and this is the important part of your workout today. I want you to write down five, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Five alternatives to what that person could be thinking or saying about you. And that is the key. This is where the real part of the workout that is going to help you. Write down five alternatives of things that somebody is either thinking or saying about you. Positive ones. Five positive ones. Sorry, I forgot to add that. But yeah, five positive alternatives. I hope this was helpful. For more information, you can reach me at and for more journal prompts, head over to Have a great day.

If this blog resonated with you and you want to discuss anything further, book a free 1-1 discovery coaching call with me to see how we could work together

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